Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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