I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
