got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
