Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Randomize
