Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
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