I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
