We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
