Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Randomize
