I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Randomize
