i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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