She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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