I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
