lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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