she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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