my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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