That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
