"it" just moved
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
