Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
