Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I think my moral compass just broke
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