Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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