when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
