Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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