my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
He is an equal opportunity slut.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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