I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
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Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
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There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
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