so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
