Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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