Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
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