ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
