I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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