I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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