matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
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