What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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