Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
