i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
