You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
