It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hippo gnu deer
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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