ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
