He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
he puts the penis in happiness.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
