my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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