I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize