While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
