I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
