glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
