I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
How naked do you want me to be?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize