I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
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shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
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Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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