"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize