Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Sext me about skeletons
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
