I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
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