I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Do vagina's smell?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
