we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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