The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
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