sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize