...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
