apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
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Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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