therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
