I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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