Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize