imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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