My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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