Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
