No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
He has the fingertips of a God
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
