im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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