just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
