Swine flu. Run for my life!
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
