ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
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I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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